full time single father, part time internet addiction.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Los Angeles and Father Chessyness(edited).

Leaving for Los Angeles this Saturday for my Grandparents 65th wedding anniversary.

It is the first time my son Atticus will be on a plane. He is about 20 months old now, he will be two the end of September. I am hoping that he is not scared, loud or obnoxious on the plane, for the sake of him and the fellow people on the plane. He will not have his own seat but rather be passed around the laps of my parents, sister and I. Everyone has given me their advice on what to do to help with his ears popping and such, I will do my best to use this advice.

I hope that he does okay being in a new place for ten days too. It should be hectic yet fun. He will see plenty of relatives he has never seen before and some he may never get the chance to see again. As for me I will be doing homework and relaxing. I am taking a laptop and my grandparents, who we are staying with, have already talked to their neighbor about me using his wi-fi so I will be able to keep up on my Math, Anthropology and Psychology. Maybe I will get some shopping done.

I feel so blessed to have Atticus in my life. Though when I first learned about him I was scared about the future but things worked out. We built a nice family and home for him, and both his mother and I were able to be around him a lot. He has yet to have to go to a day care, and the few times he has had to be with a sitter it has always been family. Going through the divorce I was scared about his well being and safety and his future but though things are different now, he seems to be adjusting. I am now a full time single dad, with Atticus living with me full time. It has had its ups and down, but being able to be around him all the time really makes me realize all I have created and have, and all that depends on my choices. Yesterday we were laying around in the yard for quite some time. I was laying enjoying the sun while he chased his kickball around the yard, amazing me how much energy he had. I was watching him across the yard, through my squinted eyes, with the sun beaming on them. He was trying to sit on his ball. He was all to himself across the yard, his thoughts, his actions, he had no idea I was watching him. I suddenly started to cry for what I felt no real reason. He makes me so happy. He is slowly becoming a little person. I felt so important and realized I could not even begin to fathom the trials and tribulations the future holds, but at the same time the happiness and the memories he and I will share. I sat up on the wood garden border and he ran over to copy me, sitting right next to me looking around like I was. I realized he does this often, mimicking my actions. I feel so proud, so happy. I have a best friend for life, I hope that he loves me and enjoys me as much as I do him, I can't wait for the day he can verbalize that.

We are a team now. Though we are currently living with my parents I would love to have our own little place to call OUR home but I realize that is not practical right now. With school, and now with me working a lot, it is much better and easier that we stay there till we get our lives back together. I just hope he understands this and realizes it later on in life, I just so badly want his first memories to be from his and I's house, our home.

I realize that no matter what, I will always be happy and looking forward to the future and life, thanks to him. Knowing that he will be there by my side. Friends, son and father.

*(7/1/2010) It was brought to my attention that I made an error in this post and need to clarify and be more specific so I am going to copy what paperwork says..... The sentence 'I am now a full time single dad, with Atticus living with me full time' should be changed to; 'Now that I am the primary physical custodian of the minor son Atticus, with him living with me a majority of the time.'

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